Personal Statement

I need a second draft for my Personal Statement Essay, it is for a university transfer application. 

Here are the instructoins: 

Transfer applicants: Complete personal statement listed below.

Transfer Personal Statement (required, 250–650 words): Inclusive excellence and diversity play a central role at the University of Colorado Boulder and within our learning environments. Please describe why diverse and inclusive learning environments are important and how CU Boulder fits with your academic and professional goals.